Is Your Dominant Orientation About You…or God?

I’m in the middle of a writing project exploring the power of Jesus’ words when He taught his followers how to pray with a simple but provocative approach: “Thy will be done.”  It sounds so simple to say, far more difficult to genuinely mean.

Our ability to embrace God’s will is dependent on our personal orientation.  Whether you recognize it or not, we all have a dominant orientation in our lives.  A fish has an orientation – it doesn’t even know it is wet because ‘wet’ is all it knows.  Water is the fish’s dominant orientation.

Your orientation is your North Star.  It shapes your perspective, guides your decisions, and even dictates your priorities.

The average person’s orientation, including those who follow Jesus, begins with self-interest.  You and I would never be caught saying, “It’s all about me” or “My will be done.”  Yet, most of us walk each day with an orientation centered on our own interest and a natural self-reliance.   In essence, we act like the central actor in this play we call ‘life.’

The challenge in this self-orientation is that it can be exhausting.  It is the opposite of the abundance that Jesus promised us in John 10:10, and it is exhausting because it translates to mostly unhealthy behaviors and perspectives:

• Relentless attempts to control everything (and everyone) in our path.
• It causes us to compare ourselves to everyone else around us – a comparison ‘trap’ of sorts.
• We insist that things be fair and equitable, and if not, we’re likely to be disappointed.
• We’re prone to have a severe case of FOMO – fear of missing out.
• We’ll tend to have excessive expectations about what we are entitled to.
• And, we are less likely to love God and love others well with this orientation.

Jesus, on the other hand, came to planet Earth to share and model a vastly different ‘North Star.’  He directly opposed a self-orientation.  He taught that it is better to give than it is to receive (Acts 20:35).  Jesus explained that he came not to be served, but to serve (MT 20:28).  He even taught us to pray with a new orientation: “Thy (God’s) will be done” (MT 6:10). And, perhaps most importantly, he taught us to love others as we have been loved (JN 15:12).

The apostle Paul summed up God’s desire for our personal orientation in 1Thes 4:13: For this is the will of God, your sanctification (your holiness or Christ-likeness).  In essence, He wants us to walk, breathe, and love in the same way that Jesus did for those 33 years he walked on our planet as one of us.

Embracing this new and different orientation, that doesn’t revolve around our own self-interest, is liberating and life-giving.  It is the path to what Paul called the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness (Gal 5:22). 

There is less desire to control things, especially things beyond our control.  There are far fewer disappointments in life because we trust God for the outcomes. And, when our spirit and soul are emptied of our self-interest, the Holy Spirit fills the vacuum that was previously consumed by it. 

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart (Ps 37:4).  Did you catch that?  When we genuinely pray, “Thy will be done,” every one of your prayers is answered because God’s will and purpose become yours. 

Let’s take God up on this promise.  When our delight is in Jesus, we go from being exhausted to exhilarated.  From being burdened to liberated.  From being weary to rested.  Which of these would you prefer?

I always welcome your thoughts…

Is Life Really “Meaningless?”

Have you read the Old Testament’s Book of Ecclesiastes?  It is paradoxical.

Written by Solomon, the ‘Teacher’ as he refers to himself, the book can easily demoralize the reader with over 40 references to our lives here on Earth being meaningless (or ‘vapor’ – translated from the Hebrew word ‘hevel’). 

At the same time, Ecclesiastes has some encouragement as it challenges us to enjoy life, to learn to live for today, and to take joy in the simple pleasures of life like working, being with people we know and respect, and cherishing a good meal. 

As I’m prone to do when a book of the Bible is challenging to me, I found a two-part video sermon on the Book of Ecclesiastes delivered by Pastor and Biblical scholar Tim Mackie.  He is the co-founder of The Bible Project and is among the best Bible scholars of our time.  Mackie is gifted at taking challenging scriptures and putting them in the proper perspective for today’s culture. 

For those without the time or inclination to watch the video links below, I’ve done my best to give you the ‘cliff notes’ version of Mackie’s insights on this profound book of the Bible:

• Is life really meaningless (and fleeting) or, instead, is your life a genuine gift from God?  This is precisely what Ecclesiastes challenges us to ponder.
• Eating and drinking (feasting) are thematic parts of Ecclesiastes.  It is what life is all about.  Our meal gatherings provide nourishment, rest, and shalom, and are an acknowledgement of God’s blessings.
• The ‘Teacher’ is focused on healthy expectations. If your expectations in life are that all will go well and that you are entitled to success and peace without trials and challenges, you will be sorely disappointed.  Solomon’s perspective: manage your expectations so that you are more likely to be delighted with each day, not sorely disappointed.
• Today’s reality is that we live in a broken world – natural disasters, wars, acts of terror, and economic struggles, among others.  Righteous people suffer harm, and perhaps even more unjustly, the unrighteous often reap success.  It’s not logical, and it certainly doesn’t seem fair.  The ‘Teacher’ explains that we are just not going to understand, or be able to explain, everything that happens in this broken world.  In essence, stop trying.
• Life is not as logical as we would prefer it to be.  God’s promise is not that all will go well.  Instead, He promises to come into the ‘hevel’ (meaninglessness) and walk with us.  Just because we can’t grasp the meaning of everything that happens (including the bad stuff), doesn’t mean that God won’t use them in powerful ways for His purpose. 
• We’re challenged in this book to be less outcome-driven (like Mackie’s example of growing a church to a certain size) and more focused on simply doing what God calls us to do – i.e., loving Him and loving others.  When we leave the outcomes to God, Solomon’s wisdom encourages us to acknowledge our powerlessness and to receive with joy whatever does come to pass.  Parenting is a great example: don’t carry the unhealthy burden that you are solely responsible for your child’s destiny.  I am a steward of my child, and I clearly have an influence.  But God can be trusted with the outcome and even your child’s future.
• Failures and disappointments in life are inevitable.  They are also the path to life’s meaning and purpose. A genuinely abundant life is bigger than the 70+ years of pain and pleasure in our life here on planet Earth.  We all tend to look for fulfillment in the things of the world, but it will prove elusive. 

Ecclesiastes and the other wisdom books in the Bible are not always comfortable, but they serve a strategic purpose in God’s design – to prod us in a direction that leads to life.  The abundant life that Jesus references in John 10:10.

What about you?  No matter your current struggle, your life does have meaning.  But we may not entirely grasp that meaning on this side of our eternal future. We tend to try to invite God into our story.  Have you considered that perhaps God is inviting you into His story, His design, and His greater purpose?

In case you have the time to delve deeper into these messages, here are the links.  You will not regret the time spent!

• Part 1: The Divine Disconnect/Ecclesiastes -Tim Mackie (The Bible Project)
• Part 2: The divine disconnect/Ecclesiastes – Tim Mackie (The Bible Project)

I always welcome your thoughts…

Dolly Parton’s Talent…and Wisdom

Everyone thinks of country music star and philanthropist Dolly Parton as a hyper-talented musician, and she was.  But as I read more about her in the tributes following her recent death, it’s obvious that she was equally gifted with wisdom. 

I always think of Mark Twain when it comes to wise sayings.  Or Jesus, for that matter.  Dolly never claimed to be a rocket scientist, but she was wise in what really matters in life.

I searched for a handful of notable quotes that provide evidence of her wisdom, and I pray that these will be worth the five minutes it requires for you to read them, and the extra five minutes to ponder the implications for the most profound of these. 

Here’s an example that started me down this road of compiling this collection – Dolly on making things better:

“I was born with a happy heart. I’ve always tried to let that shine even during my dark times. I’m one of those people who, even if things are not right, goes about trying to make it as right as I can rather than just lying around on my ass and wallowing in it all day. I think, “Well, I can either do this, or I can do that.” I choose to get up and try to make it better if I can…” Source: Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones​​

Do you carry a similar attitude each day?

Below are a handful of other Dolly quotes that emphasize resilience, authenticity, kindness, gratitude, and effort.  These relate to our work, character, gratitude, and getting through hard times.  The kind of wisdom most people can relate to, regardless of your politics or taste in rhinestones.

• “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
  From her autobiography Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business.
• “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
  From Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones.
• “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
  From Pocket Dolly Wisdom and interview compilations.
• “Storms make trees take deeper roots.”
  Frequently cited among her remarks on hardship and growth.
• “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”
  From an interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show (November 21, 2003).
• “If you see someone without a smile today, give ’em yours.”
  Posted on Twitter in 2019.
• “I always count my blessings, more than I count my money. I don’t work for money, never did. It was the art, it was the job.”
  From a CBS News interview.
• “I never had a doubt I would make it, because refusing to think I couldn’t make it is the reason I could.”
  From a 1978 interview.
• “I’m very real where it counts, and that’s inside.”
  From an interview with Barbara Walters.

What about you? Are there other favorite ‘Dollyisms’ that you are fond of, and that others would benefit from reading?

I always appreciate your thoughts…

My Wife and I Have Nothing in Common

The headline above caught my attention, mostly because I have heard this lament in the husband’s marriage workshops I’ve hosted for 15 years. Men Your Marriage Matters

A Polish author, Dawid Palka, posted it on X and LinkedIn.  It went viral because it’s the type of headline that is both provocative and attention-grabbing. 

Devonie and I just celebrated our 45th anniversary, and long ago we embraced a mindset that we’d choose to be happily incompatible.  Like us, the vast majority of married spouses are vastly different, and the only other option we all can choose is to be unhappily incompatible.  Personally, that strikes me as a terrible alternative.

I’ll let Dawid’s brilliant words speak for themselves…

(Translated from Polish)

After 20 years of marriage, I finally have to say it out loud… There’s nothing left connecting me to my wife.

We met at a philosophy exam over 20 years ago. We were young and foolish, ignoring sensible opinions and quickly tying the knot.

And then life did its thing, and today we live in two different worlds.

Her: kids, school, pedagogy, science, mountains, nature, cats, dramas. Me: companies, funds, investments, business, city, concrete, dogs, comedies.

Her: creative, empathetic, dreamy. Me: analytical, pragmatic, grounded in facts. Zero shared passions. Zero shared interests.

The same Instagram Reels don’t make us laugh. Any therapist from morning TV would issue a death certificate for our marriage. Friends are probably wondering when I’ll announce the divorce.

So here goes… I love this woman more than I did 20 years ago! And when she tells me in the evening about things that don’t interest me at all, I listen to her with a pleasure that no self-help book can explain. Because over these 20 years, I’ve understood something that contradicts everything the media shove down our throats.

Shared passions aren’t the building blocks of a relationship. They’re decoration. People go down different paths over the years, at different paces, and that’s not a malfunction. That’s what life looks like.

The real building block is different. You want better for the other person than for yourself. You put their needs above your own. You prefer giving to taking. If that’s missing, not even identical playlists can save you.

So, if your other half is your opposite, stop trying to fix it. Maybe that’s exactly where your secret lives. You don’t have to love the same things. The same values are enough, the same direction, respect for differences, and care for the other half greater than for yourself.

And finally, something I only understood recently… for 20 years, my wife had reasons every day to choose differently. Another man, another life, another world; closer to her mountains than to my concrete. Yet every day she chose the same thing… me.

Love isn’t something you feel. It’s something you choose every day. For 21 years, I’ve been someone’s choice, and I’m really proud of that…

It’s me (Peter) again – I have no better words.  I always welcome your thoughts…

“Why Does the Bible Sometimes Feel Overwhelming?”

I remember sharing a devotional many years ago at C3G (the Atlanta-based ministry that helps people find work and find God at the same time – www.c3g.org ).  ‘Bob,’ a CFO job seeker, was in the group that day and stopped me after the devotional and said, “I have a complicated relationship with God.”  I smiled and replied, “Congratulations, I do too!”  We ended up meeting several times during his career transition, and I learned that one of his biggest struggles came in the form of a question: “Why does the Bible sometimes feel overwhelming?”

I could personally relate, mostly because I was born and raised in the Catholic Church, and I wasn’t really exposed to the Bible during my childhood.  It wasn’t until Devonie and I started attending Northpoint Community Church more than 30 years ago that I resolved to read and to understand the Bible – its origins, its structure, and even its purpose in God’s design. 

The Bible, all 66 books, often felt overwhelming to me.  Stories of war, strife, traditions, and history that I didn’t really understand and struggled to fully grasp.

Several times I committed to myself to read the Bible from start to finish, and did so not with joyful anticipation but rather with stubborn persistence.  The third time I did so, I decided to use a small journal to write down the verses that felt as though God was talking to me directly.  I captured these verses to make it easier for me to review, understand, and even memorize what most impacted me.  The meaningful verses captured in this journal have proven to be a simple and less overwhelming way for God to change me and my love for His Word. 

I started by capturing the verses that most powerfully spoke to me – perhaps because they helped answer some lingering questions or helped me to reconcile part of my past.  Other verses provided clarity on God’s will and His purpose.  Still others spoke to me because they exposed my sin nature.  As time has passed, I’ve used the topical concordance in the back of my Bible to write down hundreds more verses that fit into a category or topic that I wanted to better understand.  I have page after page of verses on topics including ‘my favorites’, ‘marriage-related’, ‘the Holy Spirit’, ‘Christ-likeness’, and countless other topics.    

To give you a sense of the simplicity (and power) of this idea that I began 20 years ago, there are a handful of verses that I review just about weekly – the verses that provide God-centered clarity about who He is and what He wants for me.  Here are a handful of verses, straight out of my journal, that are on my short list of ‘life verses’ that are always top of mind and give me the ability to ponder, process, and, without much effort, even memorize:

• I (God) am the vine, you (Peter) are the branches JN 15:5 – My imperative: stay connected to God – the vine, every moment of every day. (Emphasis is mine)
• Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for others JN 15:13 – My imperative: I’m simply called to love others, first and foremost
• Be joyful always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will in Christ Jesus Phil 4:6-7 – My imperative: This is the ‘posture’ that God desires me to walk with each day – joyful, thankful, and prayerful.
• For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Phil 2:13 – My imperative: My calling is not complicated – that God’s will be done, not mine!
• Seek first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided MT 6:33 – My imperative: Be clear on what really matters – seek Him first and foremost!

I’m not convinced that this approach will suit everyone, but I would encourage you to at least consider a way to help make God’s Word your own.  It doesn’t replace your Bible in any way; it just allows you to make God’s Word specific to your heart and your life. 

I always welcome your thoughts…

I Aspire to Become Unoffendable

A few weeks ago, I heard someone remark that they have a habit of being too easily offended by others.  A light bulb clicked on in my feeble brain when I heard this lament.

Every day we’re all surrounded by people who can say or do things that offend us.  There’s not a lot you and I can do to change this reality.  What each of us does have is the ability to control whether we allow the actions or words of others to offend us.  Far too many of us are guilty of allowing ourselves to be easily offended.

I ran across a quote recently attributed to film actress and producer Mary Pickford on this notion and specifically on protecting your mind: “All the water in the world cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. All the negativity in the world cannot sink a person unless it gets inside the mind.”  Source: Why Not Try God (1934) ​​

The book of Proverbs even addresses the topic: A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (or offense). Prov 12:16

What are some of the most common ways we become offended? 

You don’t get invited to a meeting or gathering you expected to attend.  Someone offers you unsolicited advice that felt like criticism.  Your spouse ‘helps’ you choose a parking spot you hadn’t intended on choosing.  I’m guessing you can name many more that have occurred in your realm recently?

We have a clear choice – you can choose to be offended…or not.  As Pickford says above, “All the negativity in the world cannot sink a person unless it gets inside the mind.”  And we get to choose whether someone else’s words or actions get inside our mind and make us offended.

Gary Chapman addresses the issue in his book, Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married:  “When one of us offends the other, an emotional barrier is erected between the two of us.  The passing of time will never remove the barrier.  Barriers are removed by sincere apologies and genuine forgiveness.” 

While I agree with Chapman’s point, I’ll contend that there is another way to shortcut this emotional barrier – to consciously decide to reduce the likelihood and frequency that we will be offended in the first place.

What is required of us to become unoffendable? We have to choose to embrace a few key mindsets.  They sound simple and reasonable, but for most, they are aspirational.  Things like embracing humility.  A willingness to admit that someone else’s idea is reasonable. Or resisting FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when you’re not included in a gathering. 

I see very little downside and substantial upside for you if you decide to be far less offendable.  Perhaps the downside is that you’re convinced that if I don’t act hurt (or offended), you’re encouraging others to continue to offend me?  It’s not likely…but possible.

The upside of being unoffendable, on the other hand, strikes me as significant.  Being offended is a lot like withholding forgiveness.  The more you withhold forgiveness for those who have harmed you, the more that lack of forgiveness is actually an anchor in your life, not the person you haven’t yet forgiven.  Allowing yourself to be offended is very much the same

Being unoffendable is not reliant on anyone else.  You get to choose, every single time, whether you are going to be offended…or not.  That means you have the potential to be entirely liberated from being the victim in most of these situations.

In case you’d benefit from more content on the power of healthy, Christ-centered mindsets, here’s a link to my book on this topic: 3 Truths & 7 Mindsets: Changing the way we think to experience Jesus’ promise of ‘abundant’ peace, joy, and purpose. Kindle and paperback link I always welcome your thoughts…

Is Your Time Spent Each Day Doing What You Love?

I listened to a podcast interview recently of a highly accomplished (and wealthy) entrepreneur who talked about his journey to success.  He had achieved more than he ever fathomed, owned more assets than he dreamed he’d own, and traveled the world as he had always dreamt he would.

There was one problem…he wasn’t happy.  The interviewer asked, “Why weren’t you happy?”  The reason: he was spending his time doing things that didn’t bring him joy.  It was this ‘moment of truth’ that forced him to sit quietly one day and determine what actually brought him joy. 

He went on to explain that his self-examination identified a short list of things that made him genuinely happy.  His list wasn’t about world travel or buying more stuff.  Surprisingly, it included things like reading, spending time one-on-one with smart people who would engage in great conversations, napping, and hitting golf balls at the driving range. 

Wait…what?  That was my reaction – this list sounds so simple, maybe even mundane.  On the other hand, it really resonated with me because the list of things that bring me joy is equally simple.

Here is a sampling of my own inventory (if I had a magic wand and could engineer my time and energy in these activities, every day would be pure joy):

• Spending time with Devonie (working out, meals, long walks, vacations) – there is nothing better
• Reading and learning – especially on spiritual-related topics
• The two ministries I’m involved with – helping people to find work (and find Jesus) and walking with men to help them strengthen their marriages
• Teaching my grandkids – how to water ski, shoot a basketball, throw a baseball, play pickleball, or even to learn to do math problems in their head
• Writing (like this blog) – which is really the best way for me to process my journey and my observations about life in general
• And, I am 100% in agreement with the notion of taking naps and going to the golf driving range

So here’s my challenge to you (and me) – figure out how to structure your time and your life to include as many of these tasks and activities as possible.  I know, I know, the reality is that you still have to make a living, take care of your family, and do things you don’t love doing.  But the podcaster’s point is powerful – if we aren’t intentional about how we spend our time and energy, we run the risk of being ‘successful’ but not really enjoying the fruit of our success.

I always welcome your thoughts…

Men: You Can Transform Your Marriage…Starting With You

I read an article recently authored by a woman who explained that she used to think that the only way she could improve her marriage was if she could successfully change her husband.  The article went on to share her personal revelation that a change in her attitude and approach alone could enhance her marriage in significant ways.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of people, both men and women, who get resigned about the prospects and potential for improving their marriage.

I wrote a book on this topic and have been leading workshops in the Atlanta area for 15+ years. I’ll host the next workshop for husbands in North Atlanta starting in early August, 2026.  Below is a brief excerpt from the book’s introduction to give you a sense for the approach.  I pray that God will use this to help men recognize the value (and reward) of a truly abundant marriage. 

Excerpt:

The average marriage in this country, for both Christians and non-Christians, is mediocre at best.  You’d think that if our spouse is the most important earthly relationship in a married person’s life, with whom we spend the largest amount of our time and energy, that it would naturally be our best, most fulfilling relationship.  It usually isn’t. 

Not because we don’t try hard enough, but because marriage is challenging.  In no other relationship are we as exposed or more known by another human as we are in our marriage.  That’s not easy or comfortable for the average prideful, self-oriented man like you and me.

I’m neither a trained marriage counselor nor a certified marriage professional.  The good news, in a paradoxical way, is that I’m not a professional or certified marriage counselor.  Instead, I’m a 45-year “practitioner” of marriage to my wife, Devonie.  Ours is a marriage refined by time, mistakes, and the grace of God.  I’m still a work-in-progress husband, intent and enthusiastic to better understand God’s design and purpose for marriage, and totally energized by the journey to an abundant marriage. 

So, in my typical, type-A fashion, I followed this God-given passion to learn what I could to benefit my own marriage, knowing that others could benefit as well.  I’ve read countless books and articles and listened to respected pastors and speakers on all things related to marriage – both secular and Christ-centered perspectives. 

I’ve also had the opportunity to share, test, and refine these principles with groups of 15-20 men at a time in a 6-week, small-group format for more than 15 years.  We’ve wrestled with the issues, challenged each other’s thinking, and provided accountability throughout.  The most common feedback I’ve heard on the concepts we cover: “Why, after 25 years of marriage, am I just now hearing these principles?” 

In the process of my research and study, I’ve focused less on the tips and techniques and more on the strategic dimensions of marriage, including God’s original purpose for marriage in men’s lives.  I’ve attempted to capture in this book and these workshops the key truths that I pray will be as powerful, transformational, and encouraging to Christian men who have struggled with many of the same trials and tribulations of marriage that have stumped most of us.  Let me share a few of the ‘game changers’ that may motivate you to read the balance of this book:

• Men who have a mediocre marriage shouldn’t resign themselves to a life sentence of mediocrity.  An attitude of, “at least my marriage is as good as other couples I know,” is a compromise.  You have an opportunity to experience a renewal in your marriage that you may never have thought possible – including a renewed intimacy (I knew that would get your attention).
• When a married man really understands God’s purpose for marriage in our spiritual life – as the single most important vehicle God will use to make us more Christ-like – most everything he’s ever thought or learned about marriage will change.
• And the biggest ‘game changer’ for me, and the reason this passion grew in me, was the realization that men, singularly, have the God-given ability to transform their marriages (and themselves). I used to believe that the only way a marriage could transform is if both spouses jointly confessed that they have a problem and together seek help.  While that can certainly be effective, I no longer believe it’s the only path to an abundant marriage, especially when you understand God’s design for our role in marriage. 

This book is intentionally brief and an easy read.  Sometimes I think we overcomplicate marriage-related issues.  It doesn’t mean that transforming your marriage is an easy process, though.  It takes time, effort, and a commitment to strengthen your marriage and to grow in your relationship with God at the same time.  I pray that you and your wife will benefit from your investment of time and energy and that God will bless your marriage…for His glory and your joy!

Our next 6-week workshop for men will launch in the north Atlanta area in early August, 2026 and I invite you to visit the website and register if you have an interest in participating or know someone who does… www.menyourmarriagematters.com The book is available on Amazon: Kindle Version .

I always welcome your thoughts…and your involvement!

Country Star Eric Church Got it Right on Graduation Day

Country music star Eric Church delivered the commencement speech at UNC in May, and the message was simple and powerful.  It is as relevant to the rest of us adults as it was to those recent college graduates.

In case you have 18 minutes to relax and enjoy his message, here’s the link: Eric Church UNC Commencement 2026

For those who don’t have time (which may mean that your ‘guitar’ is out of tune), here is a synopsis of his message…

Using only his guitar (not even notes to refer to), Church explained that we are all designed for our lives to be ‘in tune.’  When one aspect of your life is out of tune, like a single string, you’ll feel it, and likely, so will those closest to you.  The good news…you can retune your strings.  In Church’s words, when we’re in tune, it’s a gift to ourselves and can even carry a broken person who is close to us.

Here are his six principles for life (and his corresponding message) that are highlighted by the metaphor of the strings on a guitar:

1. Faith – the low E string.  It’s what life is for and what holds us in the universe together.  Our foundation.  It’s also the ‘string’ that the world will try to undo the fastest.  Church’s challenge to all of us: don’t let it!
2. Family – the A string.  Our families are central to our lives, and these relationships will last longer than most others.  They are a constant reminder that you are not alone.  Let them (family) see you when things are hard, because they care more than anyone else.
3. Your spouse – the D string.  Your spouse gives your ‘chord’ its body and soul.  Choosing this person is also the most important decision you’ll make in your life.  Find your best friend who shares your values.
4. Ambition – the G string (laughter ensued among the graduates).  Ambition and resilience live on this string, and they pull in opposite directions.  Pursue your ambition and when you fail, get back up and tune the string to keep going.
5. Community (and generosity) – the B string.  Our temptation in today’s social media world is to perform for everyone and run the risk of belonging to no one.  Fight the comparison trap – learn names, coach teams – even if the internet doesn’t see it.
6. Being who you were designed to be – the High E string.  This string carries the melody, but it is easily broken.  Comparison to others is the enemy – you were made uniquely, exactly as you are.  In Church’s words – the world doesn’t need another cover song, it needs an original – like you.

“All 6 strings will eventually, at some point, go out of tune.  That’s just life.  But the difference between music and noise…is if you’ll slow down and listen…and keep your life in tune.  Take your 6 strings, make it something worth hearing, and play your song.”

I’ve been pondering one of Church’s profound closing statements: “The world often doesn’t let you take the time to retune.” He’s right, the world has no patience for retuning.  But we are designed by God to play our song for the benefit of others, and it requires us to take the time and the effort to stop, to be still, and to retune.

I pray that you will look at all six of your ‘strings’ and play the chords God made you to play… I always welcome your thoughts…

“Seek First The Kingdom of God”…But How???

I was with a group of job seekers last week, and we were talking about how to hear God talking to us during their career transitions.  A discussion ensued about how prevalent worry can be during the search.  Worry about our finances; worry about our future; even worry about our personal and professional reputation.

I shared one of my favorite ‘red-letter’ (Jesus’ words in the New Testament) verses when I’m prone to worry, But Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these other things will be provided. (MT 6:33)

One of the ladies in the group jumped into the discussion with a healthy challenge: “What does that really mean, ‘Seek first the kingdom of God?’”  The entire room was quiet and thoughtful for a few moments, mostly because it was such a common struggle among the group.

How would you explain its meaning?  Specifically, when your 13-year-old son or daughter asks you this question, what would you say?

In case you’ve never tried using AI in your Bible study endeavors, here’s how Grok (X’s AI engine) answered this question: “This verse sits in the heart of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, where He addresses anxiety over daily needs like food, drink, and clothing. The ‘but’ contrasts anxious striving with the trusting priority He calls His followers to embrace. God the Father knows our needs so that we can shift our primary focus.”

I like the way another commentary (www.enduringword.com ) summarized this passage: It means making God’s rule and reign in your life (and in the world) your top priority—above money, security, success, comfort, or worries.  It is not a prosperity formula guaranteeing wealth or ease. It is a call to reorder your heart so that God’s kingdom shapes your decisions, time, money, and focus. When you do this, you experience freedom from anxiety and confidence that your heavenly Father cares for you.

I’ve always preferred to answer this type of question in a way that anyone can apply day-to-day, not just a theory.  Here are a few examples that “seek first God’s Kingdom” means to me:

• Do you struggle with idols in life – including our own self-interest?  Is there evidence that the kingdom of God is your biggest priority?
• Are you seeking to know God personally?  Reading His Word? Knowing His will?
• Are you developing into the person God made you to be – in essence, becoming more and more like Jesus Himself?
• Are you captured by the frenzy of everyday life…or do you follow God’s command to Be still, and know that I am God?
• Are you renewing your mind (vs. conforming to the pattern of this world – Rom 12:2)?
• Do you really mean what Jesus taught us in the Lord’s prayer, Thy will be done (Mt 6:9-10)?  Do I genuinely seek God’s will above my own?
• Do you love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength?  Not just the idea of God, but genuinely love God?
• Do you wake up every day ‘full’ – Thank-full?  Prayer-full? Love-full? Joy-full? Peace-full? Rest-full? Spirit-full? Trust-full? Even God-full?
• And finally, where is your mind’s focus each day?  Is it on God and what He is doing?  Or, is it, like me, dominantly on the tasks and people that I deal with each day?  Easier said than done!

If you read my last ‘musing’, the manifestation of this ‘seeking first’ notion is our Christ-likeness.  It is at the core of our spiritual health and formation as we become progressively more selfless, servant-oriented, and filled with love for God and for others.

I always welcome your thoughts…