I Aspire to Become Unoffendable

A few weeks ago, I heard someone remark that they have a habit of being too easily offended by others.  A light bulb clicked on in my feeble brain when I heard this lament.

Every day we’re all surrounded by people who can say or do things that offend us.  There’s not a lot you and I can do to change this reality.  What each of us does have is the ability to control whether we allow the actions or words of others to offend us.  Far too many of us are guilty of allowing ourselves to be easily offended.

I ran across a quote recently attributed to film actress and producer Mary Pickford on this notion and specifically on protecting your mind: “All the water in the world cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. All the negativity in the world cannot sink a person unless it gets inside the mind.”  Source: Why Not Try God (1934) ​​

The book of Proverbs even addresses the topic: A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (or offense). Prov 12:16

What are some of the most common ways we become offended? 

You don’t get invited to a meeting or gathering you expected to attend.  Someone offers you unsolicited advice that felt like criticism.  Your spouse ‘helps’ you choose a parking spot you hadn’t intended on choosing.  I’m guessing you can name many more that have occurred in your realm recently?

We have a clear choice – you can choose to be offended…or not.  As Pickford says above, “All the negativity in the world cannot sink a person unless it gets inside the mind.”  And we get to choose whether someone else’s words or actions get inside our mind and make us offended.

Gary Chapman addresses the issue in his book, Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married:  “When one of us offends the other, an emotional barrier is erected between the two of us.  The passing of time will never remove the barrier.  Barriers are removed by sincere apologies and genuine forgiveness.” 

While I agree with Chapman’s point, I’ll contend that there is another way to shortcut this emotional barrier – to consciously decide to reduce the likelihood and frequency that we will be offended in the first place.

What is required of us to become unoffendable? We have to choose to embrace a few key mindsets.  They sound simple and reasonable, but for most, they are aspirational.  Things like embracing humility.  A willingness to admit that someone else’s idea is reasonable. Or resisting FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when you’re not included in a gathering. 

I see very little downside and substantial upside for you if you decide to be far less offendable.  Perhaps the downside is that you’re convinced that if I don’t act hurt (or offended), you’re encouraging others to continue to offend me?  It’s not likely…but possible.

The upside of being unoffendable, on the other hand, strikes me as significant.  Being offended is a lot like withholding forgiveness.  The more you withhold forgiveness for those who have harmed you, the more that lack of forgiveness is actually an anchor in your life, not the person you haven’t yet forgiven.  Allowing yourself to be offended is very much the same

Being unoffendable is not reliant on anyone else.  You get to choose, every single time, whether you are going to be offended…or not.  That means you have the potential to be entirely liberated from being the victim in most of these situations.

In case you’d benefit from more content on the power of healthy, Christ-centered mindsets, here’s a link to my book on this topic: 3 Truths & 7 Mindsets: Changing the way we think to experience Jesus’ promise of ‘abundant’ peace, joy, and purpose. Kindle and paperback link I always welcome your thoughts…

Is Your Time Spent Each Day Doing What You Love?

I listened to a podcast interview recently of a highly accomplished (and wealthy) entrepreneur who talked about his journey to success.  He had achieved more than he ever fathomed, owned more assets than he dreamed he’d own, and traveled the world as he had always dreamt he would.

There was one problem…he wasn’t happy.  The interviewer asked, “Why weren’t you happy?”  The reason: he was spending his time doing things that didn’t bring him joy.  It was this ‘moment of truth’ that forced him to sit quietly one day and determine what actually brought him joy. 

He went on to explain that his self-examination identified a short list of things that made him genuinely happy.  His list wasn’t about world travel or buying more stuff.  Surprisingly, it included things like reading, spending time one-on-one with smart people who would engage in great conversations, napping, and hitting golf balls at the driving range. 

Wait…what?  That was my reaction – this list sounds so simple, maybe even mundane.  On the other hand, it really resonated with me because the list of things that bring me joy is equally simple.

Here is a sampling of my own inventory (if I had a magic wand and could engineer my time and energy in these activities, every day would be pure joy):

• Spending time with Devonie (working out, meals, long walks, vacations) – there is nothing better
• Reading and learning – especially on spiritual-related topics
• The two ministries I’m involved with – helping people to find work (and find Jesus) and walking with men to help them strengthen their marriages
• Teaching my grandkids – how to water ski, shoot a basketball, throw a baseball, play pickleball, or even to learn to do math problems in their head
• Writing (like this blog) – which is really the best way for me to process my journey and my observations about life in general
• And, I am 100% in agreement with the notion of taking naps and going to the golf driving range

So here’s my challenge to you (and me) – figure out how to structure your time and your life to include as many of these tasks and activities as possible.  I know, I know, the reality is that you still have to make a living, take care of your family, and do things you don’t love doing.  But the podcaster’s point is powerful – if we aren’t intentional about how we spend our time and energy, we run the risk of being ‘successful’ but not really enjoying the fruit of our success.

I always welcome your thoughts…

Men: You Can Transform Your Marriage…Starting With You

I read an article recently authored by a woman who explained that she used to think that the only way she could improve her marriage was if she could successfully change her husband.  The article went on to share her personal revelation that a change in her attitude and approach alone could enhance her marriage in significant ways.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of people, both men and women, who get resigned about the prospects and potential for improving their marriage.

I wrote a book on this topic and have been leading workshops in the Atlanta area for 15+ years. I’ll host the next workshop for husbands in North Atlanta starting in early August, 2026.  Below is a brief excerpt from the book’s introduction to give you a sense for the approach.  I pray that God will use this to help men recognize the value (and reward) of a truly abundant marriage. 

Excerpt:

The average marriage in this country, for both Christians and non-Christians, is mediocre at best.  You’d think that if our spouse is the most important earthly relationship in a married person’s life, with whom we spend the largest amount of our time and energy, that it would naturally be our best, most fulfilling relationship.  It usually isn’t. 

Not because we don’t try hard enough, but because marriage is challenging.  In no other relationship are we as exposed or more known by another human as we are in our marriage.  That’s not easy or comfortable for the average prideful, self-oriented man like you and me.

I’m neither a trained marriage counselor nor a certified marriage professional.  The good news, in a paradoxical way, is that I’m not a professional or certified marriage counselor.  Instead, I’m a 45-year “practitioner” of marriage to my wife, Devonie.  Ours is a marriage refined by time, mistakes, and the grace of God.  I’m still a work-in-progress husband, intent and enthusiastic to better understand God’s design and purpose for marriage, and totally energized by the journey to an abundant marriage. 

So, in my typical, type-A fashion, I followed this God-given passion to learn what I could to benefit my own marriage, knowing that others could benefit as well.  I’ve read countless books and articles and listened to respected pastors and speakers on all things related to marriage – both secular and Christ-centered perspectives. 

I’ve also had the opportunity to share, test, and refine these principles with groups of 15-20 men at a time in a 6-week, small-group format for more than 15 years.  We’ve wrestled with the issues, challenged each other’s thinking, and provided accountability throughout.  The most common feedback I’ve heard on the concepts we cover: “Why, after 25 years of marriage, am I just now hearing these principles?” 

In the process of my research and study, I’ve focused less on the tips and techniques and more on the strategic dimensions of marriage, including God’s original purpose for marriage in men’s lives.  I’ve attempted to capture in this book and these workshops the key truths that I pray will be as powerful, transformational, and encouraging to Christian men who have struggled with many of the same trials and tribulations of marriage that have stumped most of us.  Let me share a few of the ‘game changers’ that may motivate you to read the balance of this book:

• Men who have a mediocre marriage shouldn’t resign themselves to a life sentence of mediocrity.  An attitude of, “at least my marriage is as good as other couples I know,” is a compromise.  You have an opportunity to experience a renewal in your marriage that you may never have thought possible – including a renewed intimacy (I knew that would get your attention).
• When a married man really understands God’s purpose for marriage in our spiritual life – as the single most important vehicle God will use to make us more Christ-like – most everything he’s ever thought or learned about marriage will change.
• And the biggest ‘game changer’ for me, and the reason this passion grew in me, was the realization that men, singularly, have the God-given ability to transform their marriages (and themselves). I used to believe that the only way a marriage could transform is if both spouses jointly confessed that they have a problem and together seek help.  While that can certainly be effective, I no longer believe it’s the only path to an abundant marriage, especially when you understand God’s design for our role in marriage. 

This book is intentionally brief and an easy read.  Sometimes I think we overcomplicate marriage-related issues.  It doesn’t mean that transforming your marriage is an easy process, though.  It takes time, effort, and a commitment to strengthen your marriage and to grow in your relationship with God at the same time.  I pray that you and your wife will benefit from your investment of time and energy and that God will bless your marriage…for His glory and your joy!

Our next 6-week workshop for men will launch in the north Atlanta area in early August, 2026 and I invite you to visit the website and register if you have an interest in participating or know someone who does… www.menyourmarriagematters.com The book is available on Amazon: Kindle Version .

I always welcome your thoughts…and your involvement!

Country Star Eric Church Got it Right on Graduation Day

Country music star Eric Church delivered the commencement speech at UNC in May, and the message was simple and powerful.  It is as relevant to the rest of us adults as it was to those recent college graduates.

In case you have 18 minutes to relax and enjoy his message, here’s the link: Eric Church UNC Commencement 2026

For those who don’t have time (which may mean that your ‘guitar’ is out of tune), here is a synopsis of his message…

Using only his guitar (not even notes to refer to), Church explained that we are all designed for our lives to be ‘in tune.’  When one aspect of your life is out of tune, like a single string, you’ll feel it, and likely, so will those closest to you.  The good news…you can retune your strings.  In Church’s words, when we’re in tune, it’s a gift to ourselves and can even carry a broken person who is close to us.

Here are his six principles for life (and his corresponding message) that are highlighted by the metaphor of the strings on a guitar:

1. Faith – the low E string.  It’s what life is for and what holds us in the universe together.  Our foundation.  It’s also the ‘string’ that the world will try to undo the fastest.  Church’s challenge to all of us: don’t let it!
2. Family – the A string.  Our families are central to our lives, and these relationships will last longer than most others.  They are a constant reminder that you are not alone.  Let them (family) see you when things are hard, because they care more than anyone else.
3. Your spouse – the D string.  Your spouse gives your ‘chord’ its body and soul.  Choosing this person is also the most important decision you’ll make in your life.  Find your best friend who shares your values.
4. Ambition – the G string (laughter ensued among the graduates).  Ambition and resilience live on this string, and they pull in opposite directions.  Pursue your ambition and when you fail, get back up and tune the string to keep going.
5. Community (and generosity) – the B string.  Our temptation in today’s social media world is to perform for everyone and run the risk of belonging to no one.  Fight the comparison trap – learn names, coach teams – even if the internet doesn’t see it.
6. Being who you were designed to be – the High E string.  This string carries the melody, but it is easily broken.  Comparison to others is the enemy – you were made uniquely, exactly as you are.  In Church’s words – the world doesn’t need another cover song, it needs an original – like you.

“All 6 strings will eventually, at some point, go out of tune.  That’s just life.  But the difference between music and noise…is if you’ll slow down and listen…and keep your life in tune.  Take your 6 strings, make it something worth hearing, and play your song.”

I’ve been pondering one of Church’s profound closing statements: “The world often doesn’t let you take the time to retune.” He’s right, the world has no patience for retuning.  But we are designed by God to play our song for the benefit of others, and it requires us to take the time and the effort to stop, to be still, and to retune.

I pray that you will look at all six of your ‘strings’ and play the chords God made you to play… I always welcome your thoughts…

“Seek First The Kingdom of God”…But How???

I was with a group of job seekers last week, and we were talking about how to hear God talking to us during their career transitions.  A discussion ensued about how prevalent worry can be during the search.  Worry about our finances; worry about our future; even worry about our personal and professional reputation.

I shared one of my favorite ‘red-letter’ (Jesus’ words in the New Testament) verses when I’m prone to worry, But Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these other things will be provided. (MT 6:33)

One of the ladies in the group jumped into the discussion with a healthy challenge: “What does that really mean, ‘Seek first the kingdom of God?’”  The entire room was quiet and thoughtful for a few moments, mostly because it was such a common struggle among the group.

How would you explain its meaning?  Specifically, when your 13-year-old son or daughter asks you this question, what would you say?

In case you’ve never tried using AI in your Bible study endeavors, here’s how Grok (X’s AI engine) answered this question: “This verse sits in the heart of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, where He addresses anxiety over daily needs like food, drink, and clothing. The ‘but’ contrasts anxious striving with the trusting priority He calls His followers to embrace. God the Father knows our needs so that we can shift our primary focus.”

I like the way another commentary (www.enduringword.com ) summarized this passage: It means making God’s rule and reign in your life (and in the world) your top priority—above money, security, success, comfort, or worries.  It is not a prosperity formula guaranteeing wealth or ease. It is a call to reorder your heart so that God’s kingdom shapes your decisions, time, money, and focus. When you do this, you experience freedom from anxiety and confidence that your heavenly Father cares for you.

I’ve always preferred to answer this type of question in a way that anyone can apply day-to-day, not just a theory.  Here are a few examples that “seek first God’s Kingdom” means to me:

• Do you struggle with idols in life – including our own self-interest?  Is there evidence that the kingdom of God is your biggest priority?
• Are you seeking to know God personally?  Reading His Word? Knowing His will?
• Are you developing into the person God made you to be – in essence, becoming more and more like Jesus Himself?
• Are you captured by the frenzy of everyday life…or do you follow God’s command to Be still, and know that I am God?
• Are you renewing your mind (vs. conforming to the pattern of this world – Rom 12:2)?
• Do you really mean what Jesus taught us in the Lord’s prayer, Thy will be done (Mt 6:9-10)?  Do I genuinely seek God’s will above my own?
• Do you love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength?  Not just the idea of God, but genuinely love God?
• Do you wake up every day ‘full’ – Thank-full?  Prayer-full? Love-full? Joy-full? Peace-full? Rest-full? Spirit-full? Trust-full? Even God-full?
• And finally, where is your mind’s focus each day?  Is it on God and what He is doing?  Or, is it, like me, dominantly on the tasks and people that I deal with each day?  Easier said than done!

If you read my last ‘musing’, the manifestation of this ‘seeking first’ notion is our Christ-likeness.  It is at the core of our spiritual health and formation as we become progressively more selfless, servant-oriented, and filled with love for God and for others.

I always welcome your thoughts…

Becoming More Like Jesus…Through Our Trials

I’ve wrestled with God on plenty of issues, but the most consistent topic has been about our ultimate purpose here on earth.  Why did you create me?  What have you called me to do or accomplish?  I’m certain I’m not alone in this struggle.   

When it comes to our life’s purpose, Jesus invites us to choose to follow Him by making the decision to accept His gift of salvation that His death and resurrection offer.   

Once we choose to follow Jesus, and because we’re then blessed and equipped with the gift of His Holy Spirit, our purpose expands to grow to be more and more like Jesus for the balance of our lives.  Some call this sanctification; others might refer to it as holiness. The simplest way for me to understand this calling is that it’s all about becoming more and more Christ-like. 

If you’ve never studied the Biblical support for our call to Christ-likeness, it’s distinct:

• “Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He (Jesus) walked” (1 John 2:6).
• For this is the will of God, your sanctification (meaning: our holiness) (1Thes 4:3).
• For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son… (Rom 8:29).

Who wouldn’t want to become more Christ-like?  It brings to life the notion of Jesus living in and through us and allows us to experience the ‘fruit’ that we’re promised as He increases, and we decrease: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 2:20, 5:22-23).  Did you notice that the first three of this ‘fruit’ are precisely what most of us find elusive – love, joy, and peace?   This is why our Christ-likeness matters so much!

This is the life-long journey we’re on.  And it’s most often your trials and tribulations, and a few key relationships, that God will use to help you grow into the Christ-like person He designed you to be. 

“Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny” – C.S. Lewis

A good friend of mine and a retired Pastor from Northpoint Community Church, John Woodall, is an amazing encourager of men and regularly suggests that we’d all be wise to develop a retrospective ‘life map’ that visually captures our life’s journey.  To be useful, it should include our most significant life events (both ‘highs’ and ‘lows’) and our corresponding spiritual walk with God.  When complete, it portrays how God uses both our successes and especially our trials to make us into the people He designed us to be. 

Joni Eareckson Tada may be the poster person for growing and thriving despite significant setbacks and challenges.  Now in her 70’s, she was paralyzed in a diving accident when she was a teenager.  She’s experienced chronic pain since the accident and has long been confined to a wheelchair.  And yet, her reputation for exuding a positive attitude is inspiring.  An interviewer once asked her, “Joni, how do you manage to be so radiant in the midst of your pain and suffering?”  Her response, “Every day I find reasons amid my pain to be thankful for life…I guess that has become my reflex reaction for my life.”  Sounds like a glimpse of Christ-likeness…

Or let’s use an example you may have experienced at one time or another: losing your job.  Having walked with many job seekers in the past two decades, I can attest that a job loss is very difficult for most.  It shakes our confidence, challenges our finances, and creates stress like few other life events.  And yet, it’s also become obvious that God uses job transitions to profoundly re-arrange our priorities, change our paradigms, and to draw us closer to Him in the process – if we allow Him to do so.

Jesus’ brother, James, reinforces the value of our trials: Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4).

Instead of looking at adverse circumstances as daunting, adopt the mindset that while they will be challenging, these adversities are serving an important purpose in God’s design – to make us more Christ-like!  By embracing this purpose, we make the choice to thank God for the trials that we face – whether small or significant. 

I have a long way to go in this journey…what about you? 

I always welcome your thoughts…

Do You Genuinely Trust God?

Do you trust God?  No, seriously – it’s easy to say you trust God…but do you really trust Him with the biggest challenges in your life right now?  Or are you grinding to find a solution, or worrying endlessly about the possible outcomes amidst these challenges?

Do you trust Him when your prodigal child has run away from home, and you don’t know where they are or who they are with? Do you trust Him when your marriage is struggling and may even feel like it is slipping away?  Do you trust Him with your future when you get laid off from your job because you’re the oldest and highest-paid person on the team?  Do you trust Him when you get the diagnosis that your health and future plans have been compromised, maybe forever?

Dallas Willard’s now-famous notion is what comes to my mind: It’s not enough to say we believe and trust in God; the true test is whether we act as though we believe.  Do we walk each day with a sense of calm and confidence that these challenging situations will ultimately be resolved, in God’s perfect timing, and for our ultimate good?

I’ve written extensively on the topic of healthy mindsets, which is mostly about trust.  You can be successful, or you can be struggling; you can be faith-filled, or you can have countless doubts; you can be an extrovert, or you can be an absolute introvert.  Regardless of who and where you are in these spectrums, your peace, joy, and purpose are directly correlated to the degree to which you genuinely trust God.

When you really trust God, you’ll do a lot less striving, worrying, judging, and feeling entitled.  And, you’ll be far more apt to be grateful, humble, content, and joyful.

You won’t make this choice to trust God unless and until you believe that God is sovereign.  You won’t make this choice to trust God until you believe that God loves you exactly as you are – flaws and all.  You won’t make this choice to trust God until you believe that God will make all things work together for good.  And, you won’t make this all-important choice to trust God unless you genuinely believe that your eternal future is secure in Him. 

Author Sarah Young, in her daily devotional, Jesus Calling, says it this way: Trust me one day at a time.  This keeps you close to me, responsive to my will.  Trust is not a natural response, especially for those who have been deeply wounded.  My spirit within you is the resident Tutor, helping you with this supernatural endeavor.  Yield to His gentle touch, be sensitive to His prompting…tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don’t get tangled up in its worry-webs

Your faith and belief in God are what give you the confidence to trust Him.  Jesus came to give us life, and to have it abundantly (John 10:10) – and experiencing this abundant life depends on us trusting God with our life and with our future. 

And therein lies the reason we’re called, in God’s word, to trust Him with every aspect of our lives, including the unknown outcomes of the future.  Because God knows all things, we can rest in the notion that we don’t have to know everything. 

Embracing this mindset doesn’t mean we’re promised a problem-free existence – not in the least!  But when we learn to trust God and His plans for us, an extraordinary peace is promised.  And God’s peace is hard to experience in those who feel entirely accountable for everything that happens. 

As Author and Pastor, Max Lucado once said, “The contagiously calm person is the one who reminds others, God is in control.”

I published a book a few years ago entitled 3 Truths and 7 Mindsets – Changing the Way We Think to Experience Jesus’ Promise of ‘Abundant’ Life.  Three Truths, Seven Mindsets Amazon Link. The premise of the book is that there are a few crucial mindsets that each of us chooses in life.  The ones you choose will profoundly impact your joy, your peace, and your sense of fulfillment. 

I always welcome your thoughts…

When You Find Someone Wonderful, Invest in Them

Have you ever met someone who is uniquely gifted/talented?  When you do, what goes through your mind?  Do you marvel at their skills?  Does it make you envious, wishing you had a fraction of their talents?

I have a different reaction.  I usually ponder how I could possibly invest in this person to equip them to further leverage their unique skills.  I guess I share this perspective with Author James Clear, who has an uncanny ability to catch my attention with his short, pithy quotes.  I saw this one recently:

“Exceptional people are rare. When you find someone wonderful, invest in them.

• When you find a great employee, pay them well.
• When you find a great friend, prioritize the relationship.
• When you find a great spouse, out-love them each day.

Relationships are probably the most important part of life. Take care of the great ones.”

Clear’s quote makes me reflect on other dimensions of this same philosophy and investing our time, resources, and energy in people/things that intersect our path: 

• When you find a great job, be exceptional
• When you find a great house, take great care of it
• When you find your faith in Jesus, share it with others

Let me share a real-life example in our lives – Josh Briggs. 

Devonie and I met Josh 17 years ago when we had an erosion challenge in our backyard.  A neighbor suggested we call this 23-year-old young man, who could likely help.  Josh ended up fixing the erosion issue, and we had a chance to get to know him through that process.  I learned that he was never a stellar college student, but, as God often does, when someone struggles in one area (like school), He often uniquely gifts these same people in other ways. 

Josh is the foremost example of this phenomenon.  He is the most knowledgeable, talented, and experienced construction-related person that I have ever met.  I remember asking him, not long after we met, what he planned to do with his life.  In his typical, humble style, he explained that he really wanted to renovate and build houses.  I asked why he wasn’t pursuing that dream, and the answer was logical – “I don’t have much money.”  I was struck by the answer and told him that while I have no handyman skills (or knowledge) to help him, Devonie and I would enjoy helping him get started down that road so that he could use his God-given talents. 

Fast forward to today – Josh is a licensed general contractor who has renovated and/or built more than 60 homes over the past 17 years.  He has provided exceptional homes to delighted homeowners, he’s employing dozens of subcontractors and people who can better feed their families, and he is making the world a better place in the process.

Josh has become a special part of our lives.  We love him as a person (and his wife, Jen, and two daughters) even more than we do as a professional craftsman.

Who do you know that has a special set of skills that is making a small (or even a large) impact in their circle of influence?  Isn’t it great to see God use them in unique and powerful ways?

More importantly, who do you know (and maybe it’s you) who has a special gift but has not yet found a way to fully employ their gifts and skills for both their own satisfaction and for the benefit of others?  What could you do to help them leverage these skills?  Is it encouragement?  Or introducing them to people you may know who can help them launch?  Maybe it’s as simple as you providing advice, counsel, or even financial resources to help launch their career?

I can tell you, first-hand, that seeing Josh flourish has been among the most rewarding experiences of our lives.  I pray that you will experience the same.

I always appreciate your thoughts…

Is it Bad to Desire Good Things?

I recently saw a quote from Pastor and Author Tim Keller that is profound and thought-provoking – “The main problem our heart has is not so much desires for bad things, but our over-desires for good things. This is just a summary of St. Augustine: the primary sin is against the 1st commandment, to love anything (usually good things) more than God.”

Wait…what?!  Is it possible that desiring good things could be bad?  It compelled me to stop and consider what I most desire in life, and I’ll challenge you to do the same. 

What do I most desire? That my children and grandchildren thrive in their lives and not struggle.  I long for extended periods of peace and calm.  I am most comfortable in my daily routines (Devonie would add, “habitual”).  I generally desire safety and security – including a secure future. 

If I’m really honest with myself (and all of you), I have a deep desire for continued closeness with Devonie, for three square meals a day, and for the daily luxuries of a hot shower, a warm bed, and a hot cup of coffee each morning. 

But Keller’s point stopped me in my tracks – literally.  The 1^st commandment that St. Augustine references is clear: You shall have no other gods before me. (Exodus 20:3)

Here’s the underlying indictment of this commandment for me: Do I genuinely desire God more than I desire the list outlined above?  A sense of being close to Him.  An awareness of His presence?  Hearing from Him, whether directly from scripture or through others in my path. 

We get so consumed by the ‘here and now’ of our daily existence that God gets compartmentalized to a ‘box’ that includes a prayer before meals and a Sunday church service.  We are fully occupied by our tasks and commitments – the next meeting, lunch with my friend, and the emails and text messages that barrage us each day.  And let’s not forget the mindless time we spend scrolling social media accounts to discover what someone halfway around the world is doing with their talented dog trick in hopes it will ‘go viral.’ 

What would it look like if we not only desired God more than all of these things, but also acted like it?  Is it short, simple prayers throughout the day (as 1Thes 5:17 implores us to pray without ceasing)?  Is it pausing for a moment before a hard discussion with someone we care about to ask for God’s guidance in our words and counsel? Is it watching an amazing sunset and marveling at God’s art canvas in the sky?  Or, is it serving someone else in need when all I really want to do is have time for myself?  

What about you?  Is there enough evidence to convict you of faithfulness to this 1^st commandment – to love and desire God more than anything else in your life?  I’ve got a long way to go, I fear…

I always welcome your thoughts…

There Are Only Two Kinds of People in The End…

C.S. Lewis once said, “There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’” 

This topic is top of mind for me as I’m creating and collecting content, digesting many others’ perspectives, and ultimately writing a small book that attempts to capture the meaning and application of Jesus’ teaching on how we should pray when he included in the Lord’s Prayer in the book of Matthew, Thy will be done.

It sounds easy to embrace this mindset, but we innately desire our will to be done.  For some, it is our pride; for others, it is our selfishness; and for most, it is an unhealthy set of expectations and entitlements that lead us to embrace a mentality that we deserve to have things our way.

And yet, our ability to welcome a ‘Thy will be done’ perspective may be the single most important mindset that enables us to experience a profound and enduring sense of peace, joy, and purpose that most long to experience.  It equips us to trust God in a way that most people don’t. 

It’s not about trying to bend God’s will to our interests.  It is far more about aligning our will with God’s will.  It is paradoxical to think that when we do, every one of our prayers with that intention will be answered.

What if we genuinely surrendered our will, with open hands, and embraced God’s will?  Not just accept His will but intentionally pray for God’s will to be done… and not ours.  When we embrace and defer to God’s will, we relinquish worrying about things we can’t control anyway. 

When it comes to geopolitics, it will matter far less to you who wins the next election or how high our politicians set the income tax rate.  Related to our work/career – it’s not the end of the world when you don’t get the promotion you were praying for, or if you are laid off at work.  In parenting, this mindset is a source of peace when your prodigal child is challenging your authority. In your marriage, trusting God’s will allows you to deal with some tension in your relationship.  And finally, it equips you to deal with the curve balls thrown your way in everyday life – when your plans change unexpectedly, or it feels as though things aren’t going your way.

When we genuinely welcome and thank God for His will being done, it will also prevent us from clinging to outcomes for which we were previously desperate.  It will help prevent our natural inclination to self-centeredness and self-righteousness.  And, it will equip us to learn to trust God in every circumstance, even the challenging ones.  

Making this transition is profound, but not easy.  A few steps that may help in this journey:

• Pray The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:10-13) often…and genuinely mean thy will be done!
• Be diligent about things in your life that you can control – priorities, tasks, etc.  And at the same time…
• Trust God entirely for the outcomes in your life and for the broader context of what you cannot control personally (which is most everything).
• When it comes to embracing God’s will, stay mindful of His overarching, sovereign will that He intends for all of us, regardless of our circumstances and our personal desires:
  • To love others as Jesus loves us
  • To share the good news of the gospel with others – not just with words but by our example and in our countenance. 

The bottom line: in every situation, decision, and circumstance you encounter, try to identify your own self-interested will.  It’s ok to want to land the job offer after a 12-month job search – just decide to trust God with the outcome.  It’s ok to want your teen daughter to get accepted to the college she is desperate to attend – just decide to trust God’s will and providence.  It’s fine to hope that your home mortgage interest rate falls to make things more affordable – but if they don’t, trust God with your financial future as we endeavor to make the most responsible financial decisions possible, regardless of what happens with the rates.  In essence, ask God to equip you to let go of your will and embrace God’s plan and will.   

When you pray the Lord’s prayer, do you really mean it when you say “Thy (God’s) will be done?”  Or, are you really pleading for your will to be done?  I am guilty as charged in far too many cases, and I aspire to genuinely desire His.    

I always welcome your thoughts…