We’re living in a strange time with national and global tension strikingly high – which translates to personal tension and anxiety for most people. Two years ago I published a book called, 3 Truths and 7 Mindsets – Changing the Way We Think to Experience Jesus’ Promise of ‘Abundant’ Life. The basic premise is that there are a few crucial mindsets that each of us chooses. And the ones you choose will profoundly impact your joy, your peace, and your sense of fulfillment. Here’s an excerpt from the chapter on our preoccupation with worry that I hope is helpful:
It’s beyond dispute – life tends to consume us with challenges and preoccupations. And there are plenty of things for us to fret about – including regrets about the past (which we can do nothing to change) and worries about the future (most of which is wasted energy).
And yet, God is crystal clear in the Bible that worry is not in His design for us:
- …do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink… (MT 6:25)
- Do not be anxious about anything… (Phil 4:6)
It sounds declarative and definitive…and yet, we’re prone to excessive worry.
As Arthur Brooks, author and self-professed expert on happiness contends, “If you have no control over an event, no amount of rumination can help you. It can only lower your happiness further.”
We worry about our children – will they learn enough? Will they have good friends? Will they get into the college they’ve chosen? Will they ever get married?
We worry about our finances – will we have enough? Will we ever retire? Will I get a sufficient raise in pay?
We even worry about what others think of us – will they like me? Did I say the wrong thing? Is my credibility shot? Will I ever see them again…and do I even want to?
Left to our own devices, we have the capacity to worry about virtually everything. And worry is really the kinder, gentler version of fear. Fear of what is ahead; fear of the unknown; or even fear of failure.
I still remember a mentor of mine challenging me, in a helpful way, about a career change I was considering many years ago when he sensed that I was fearful about making the change. Specifically, I was worried that I may not be successful in the new role. His challenging question to me: “Do you know what your ‘fear’ is Peter?” I had my own guess but I wasn’t courageous enough to offer an answer. “No, Dan, what is fear?” His answer was convicting, “Fear is just a lack of faith.”
Dan was right – when we obsessively worry, and that worry translates to fear, we’re adopting an unhealthy mindset that God can’t really be trusted with this situation. And our common response to this lack of faith? Worry some more. It’s a vicious cycle.
How do we embrace a new, more helpful mindset that equips us to stop the worry and yet still deal with the speed bumps that are inevitable in life? And since we know that we’re going to experience challenges and setbacks, how do we best deal with them without being consumed by worry? Three simple principles may help you embrace mindset #4 and they demonstrate the inter-relationships between all of these mindsets:
- God doesn’t give us challenges beyond what we can handle (1 Cor 10:13). I’ve always taken great comfort in the way retired Pastor and Author Tim Keller explains this perspective, “If you knew everything that God knows, you’d give yourself exactly what He’s given you.”
- When trials do confront us, harken back to Mindset #3 (our journey to Christ-likeness) – these trials will be used by God to help you grow in Christ-likeness. When you genuinely embrace this paradigm, you’ll no longer look at challenging circumstances with disdain but with confidence that God will use these adverse situations for your good and for your growth. (Rom 8:28)
- And, as we outlined in Mindset #1 (God’s in control), when we truly embrace the mindset that we can trust God for the outcomes in our lives – it enables us to consciously stop fretting about what the future may hold and instead, peacefully anticipate what may come.
It bears repeating – worrying (or not) is a choice we each make, often subconsciously. We have to fight our innate and somewhat natural tendency to worry as a default – but it’s our conscious choice.
The antidotes to worry
So, if worry is unhelpful, what’s the solution? If you’re prone to spend too much time and energy thinking (and worrying) about what lies ahead, here are a few suggestions that have proven helpful as I’ve personally waged this anti-worry ‘battle’ – each of which we’ll expand on in more depth (in the balance of the book):
- Stay present and in the moment – in our tasks, in our relationships, and even in our rest. Every mental cycle we spend on the future, or things beyond our control, is a significant moment of not enjoying or appreciating what we’re doing right now.
- Don’t worry about tomorrow…put it on the calendar – a significant contributor to our worry is related to the way we manage our time and our calendar…and it’s ‘fixable’!
- Our expectations and contentment – contentment is being satisfied, or even delighted with what we have today, not preoccupied with what we long to have. And our expectations will profoundly impact our contentment…and our propensity to worry.
- Resist a sense of entitlement – to fight the tendency to believe that life should be ‘fair.’ And when it’s not, we’re prone to disappointment, or even bitterness. The choice to resist feeling entitled is ours to make.
- Gratefulness – when our focus is on the future, we compromise our ability to be grateful for exactly what we have today – the people we’re surrounded by, the job that we’re fortunate enough to occupy, or even the resources that God has provided.
- And, the power of prayer – The Apostle Paul implores us to pray “continuously” – which sounds like A LOT! Prayer is a momentary acknowledgment that God is integral to every aspect of our life. And it’s these acknowledgments that help loosen worry’s unyielding grip on us.
(end excerpt)
I go into more detail on each of these antidotes in the remainder of this chapter.
What about you – are you preoccupied with worry? Does it get in the way of your joy and peace? You can choose not to worry…
I always welcome your thoughts!
A Servant's Musings 
Thank you Peter, as always your words are helpful, comforting, and inspiring. We’re dealing with challenges that our daughter is having in trying to have a baby and these words were very meaningful today.